


Are You Lost Enough? Have Another Drink Get Lost in Us.

by domtommo



Series: It's Only When it Rains, That We Grow [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Character Study, Dom Magnus Bane, Drunken Confessions, M/M, Multi, Sub Alec Lightwood, Switch Jace Wayland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:00:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26766937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domtommo/pseuds/domtommo
Summary: The boys having drunken conversations with their counterparts. A character study of sorts.Jace & SimonAlec & LydiaMagnus & Raphael
Relationships: Lydia Branwell & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis & Jace Wayland
Series: It's Only When it Rains, That We Grow [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718923
Comments: 10
Kudos: 144





	1. Jace & Simon

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I'm sorry I basically went AWOL for a while! I got sidetracked working on another Malec fic I'm super excited for but I figure I at least stop by and drop this off!
> 
> I've always wanted to do a character study of sorts, just so I could better explain why they do the things they do, so I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Lastly, I wanted to go ahead and insert a picture of what their marks would look like so below is Jaces! (Sorry about the blurriness!)  
>    
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/190431232@N05)
> 
> Meaning: As the pictograph indicates, this letter represents a peg or hook, which is used for securing something. The meaning of this letter is to add or secure.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for keeping up with this series, it means everything to me <3
> 
> em

If there was one place besides Magnus’ club that all kinds felt welcome, it was The Hunter’s Moon. 

Tonight, Jace and Simon had both gotten to escape their dominants, settling into a booth in the corner and ordering as much greasy food and beer they could keep down. Simon of course was sticking to the Bloody Mary’s, which loosened his tongue even more than when he was sober, oversharing and asking far too many questions than Jace would have normally been comfortable with.

“Wait wait wait, you’re telling me you don’t get maintenance spankings? I’ve been with Rapha longer than you three and I still get them twice a month!”

Jace snorted into his pint, “We got them for the first few months when we started out, but no we have no reason to anymore, maybe Raphael thinks you still need them to stay in line.”

Simon pouts at that and shoved another handful of fries in his mouth, “But Raphael told me Magnus was super strict about them, his were three sometimes four times a month. Are you actually telling me Mags is less strict on his actual subs than he was his pseudo-son?”

The blonde boy just lets out a laugh and shrugs, “Oh I wouldn’t say that, Mags is still pretty strict in different ways, he’s definitely tanned my ass a few times. But yeah, something about Raphael is different, he’s way more by the book anytime it comes to him.”

That was probably putting it lightly, Magnus had always emphasized the importance of respecting other people and other doms (if they deserved it), but when it came to Raphael it seemed the bar was at the highest. He thinks back to one such incident before they were in a relationship, when Jace had sat in on their cabinet meeting, listening and taking notes to ensure their missions would continue to run smoothly and efficiently when he and Raphael had started disagreeing. 

He doesn’t even really remember what the argument was about, something about the way he used to kill vamps pre-Valentine and Rapahel had called him out on his ‘ruthless tactics.’ He remembers getting defensive quickly, telling the vampire off, and before he knew it the two were in a full-blown argument, ending with Jace throwing an insult at him. The other leaders around the table had been uncomfortable at the scene unfolding, but before anyone could intervene, Magnus had stood up calmly from his place next to Alec and spoke in a steady, firm voice, “ _ That’s enough.” _

The effect was almost immediate, Raphael had shut his mouth and straightened his back, and despite Jace wanting to continue, he knew better and pulled back as well, standing at attention. The room was silent as Magnus stood up, hands drifting towards his pants and slowly pulling his belt out of the loops, one by one. 

Once the strap of leather had been free, he calmly walked over to Jace and stood in front of him, holding the belt in front of his mouth, “ _ Open.”  _ Jace hesitated only for a second, a little embarrassed at doing this in front of all the representatives but obeying nonetheless. He had dropped his jaw and let Magnus fit the double-folded belt in, biting down on it to hold it in place, effectively silencing him for the rest of the meeting.

“ _ Let this be a reminder of what’s waiting for you once we get home.” _

If there was anything Jace remembered about that day, it was the sharp pain of leather and the small fire of anger and disappointment in Magnus’ eyes.

Simon’s eyes were wide at that, “Rapha told me you had gotten disciplined but I had no idea it was anything like that. But come to think of it you’re right, there’s a different set of expectations he has when it comes to Magnus, I think it just has something to do with their relationship. He’s strict, sure, but it’s different with him… Maybe it’s like the way you and Alec are? Isn’t your relationship with him different from Magnus’?”

“Alec and I are bonded Simon, of course it’s different.” He smiles softly, thinking back to their parabatai ceremony. He remembers how after a few years of staying with the Lightwoods, he found himself falling for the boy, his kindness, his passion, his heart. He never dared to act upon his feelings though, knowing it was wrong, however that didn’t mean the thought of Alec belonging to anyone else didn’t terrify the shit out of him. So he did the only logical thing to do, ask Alec to tie his soul to his. 

He turned away from the puppy eyes Simon was giving him, pushing a hand in his face, “Don’t look at me like that, we do not need to have a chick flick moment.” 

The vampire just pouts and starts on his fourth drink, “come on Jace I want to hear these things, we never get to hang out like this! I wanna hear all the chick-flick details, tell me about how it felt to date both of them.”

It was an easy enough answer to indulge him with, so with a roll of his eyes, he started to relay the story. He tells him how staying with Magnus pissed him off, not wanting to have to live in the same house as the person his parabatai was seeing but putting up with it due to his lack of other options. He tells him how he hated how pretty Magnus was first thing in the morning, hair mused from sleep, and face void of makeup. What was worse was that he’d have to see Alec following close behind, the taller man wrapping his arms around the other’s waist and laying his head on his shoulder as Magnus cooked.

Jace remembers sitting on the barstools, watching them interact giving him hints of jealousy and longing in the pit of his stomach. He tells Simon how he accidentally walked in on them having a scene, and it was all of those combined that pushed him to be honest with the two. He spares Simon the details but tells him about the first time he got to take Alec down.

He had already been taken down a few times by Magnus and Magnus alone, the older man wanting him to learn the place of a submissive first before he got his turn with Alec, telling him that it teaches empathy something he needed to know if they were to continue this relationship. When it came time for him and Alec, it was nerve-wracking for them both, their feelings towards one another were not yet known so it made things a little easier, but that didn’t mean Jace enjoyed it any less. 

When they had negotiated out the scene, all of them agreed that nothing sexual had to take place, at least not that day. Magnus had supervised the whole thing, and after going over safewords and colors, had delegated himself to the background, sitting in his armchair with a martini in hand.

To this day Jace remembered how pretty Alec looked tied up, the black silk rope around his arms and legs made his runes stand out. He had kept his briefs on and it allowed for Jace to concentrate on bringing the flogger down over and over without noticing the tenting. He had specifically asked for Alec to keep the bond open so he could gauge him himself, wanting to make sure Alec could take what he was given.

The scene lasted for over an hour, Jace had started by warming up his body with a flogger, then followed it up by pouring wax over where the welts appeared. To this day it was one of his favorite scenes because finally hearing that soft noises that Alec made were just as beautiful as he’d imagine.

Being with them two soon became addicting, Jace was greedy for any scene time he could get whether it be solo or all three of them at once. He tells Simon it was when he started taking the lessons he had learned inside the bedroom outside, that he realized maybe Alec and Magnus were more than just friends-with-BDSM-benefits.

He doesn’t mean for his mind to drift, but he definitely doesn’t tell Simon about his and Alec’s actual first time together, after they had gotten together officially. He doesn’t tell him how perfect it was to slide into the boy, how it felt like coming home, that being in Alec was exactly where he was supposed to be. No, he couldn’t tell him the details of how Alec had pulled his hair, whined gently with every thrust, and had called out his name like a prayer. All he feels like he can tell him is about the bond, how after their first time it finally felt complete, a rush of energy as they consummated. He tells him how being with them literally and emotionally completed him.

“Jace that’s beautiful… Who knew you had it in you!” Simon smirked and slapped his shoulder, “I’m really glad you're happy man, after all the shit we went through and the things with Clary, you deserve to be happy.”

“I do.” And before Alec or Magnus had come along Jace would’ve never been able to admit that, never been able to stand up to himself and convince himself that not only could he be loved, but that he deserved to be. 

“Growing up with Valentine I never thought he would find someone that could love and accept both sides of me, much less  _ two _ someones.” He shakes his head as even he was still in disbelief. Training with the both of them had begun the process of reversing Valentine’s teachings, and Jace would forever be in debt to them for that. He tells Simon about Valentine’s rules, how he was expected to hurt and abuse others in the name of dominance, how one of his teachings had been about how weak safewords were, and the use of them would result in punishment.

That story had made Simon shiver a little, his eyes flicking away and downing his fourth (and Jace would make sure) his last drink. “That’s- that’s a lot man, I’m so sorry you had to grow up like that… You were just a kid. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to try and unlearn that. Did that interfere with Magnus’ rules?”

Jace immediately shakes his head, “One difference I noticed right away about Magnus and Valentine was that Magnus likes to explain things. If he punishes me he makes sure I know damn well every reason why I’m getting punished. Same thing goes for our rules. He sat me down, outlined it out, and explained each one to me, that they were all there for my protection. It’s one of the reasons I knew that what we were doing was based on love and care, not any of the bullshit Valentine tried to feed me...Like one of his rules is not running into unnecessary danger right?”

Simon raises an eyebrow at that, “But you still-”

“Yeah but I don’t do it as  _ often,  _ or at least I think twice about it… Most times.” He laughs when Simon shakes his head in amusement and disbelief.

“How the hell Magnus puts up with the both of you I’ll never understand. No wonder he drinks so much.” His eyes widened as soon as the words left his mouth, “Please don’t tell him I said that. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, just kind of an I-understand-way.”

Jace just ruffles his hair, the alcohol letting him get a bit more touchy, “I won’t say anything to your daddy’s papa…” His eyebrows furrow when he realizes what he said. “Hey so if Raph is Magnus’ son, and Alec and I are dating Magnus, does that mean…?”

Simon's cheeks blush a dark red at the implication, _“check, please!_ ” 


	2. Alec & Lydia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know how I knew?” 
> 
> She cocked her head to the side, swallowing the rest of her drink, “That you loved him?”
> 
> He fiddles with the buckle of his cuff, “I wasn’t scared.” He doesn’t let her question him before he continues. “With Jace, I think a part of me had been in love with him since the day we met. Loving Jace was safe. It wasn’t like that with Magnus. Before we got together I told him, in so many words, that he wasn’t worth giving up my life over. And at the time that was true, but somewhere along the way the thought of giving up my life for him didn’t scare me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love on this part already, I love reading your comments and I'm so grateful that people like it enough to keep up with it!
> 
> Alec's mark:  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/190431232@N05/50440443567/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> Meaning: The meanings of this letter are "bend" and "curve," from the shape of the palm, as well as to "tame" or "subdue" as one who has been bent to another's will.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> em

Alec grew up sheltered, that much he knew. So as a young adult he thought it kind of sad that he didn’t have many friends that were “his.” The only person he was close with outside his siblings and lovers was oddly enough, Lydia, as the two were similar in most ways. 

Like him, Lydia was by the book, happy to put duty and honor before happiness, evidence in their previous nuptials. It wasn’t until the whole mess was over that he had started a close friendship with her, the two regularly putting time aside to hang out outside of work. Tonight was one of those times, where Lydia had business in New York for a few days, Magnus and Jace were going out for their own date night, leaving Alec to grab a drink with her in the sanctity of his office. 

They had cleared his desk of any paperwork and pulled out some of the good scotch Magnus had insisted he keep in a cabinet along with some glasses. “I can’t get too messed up, I have a meeting with Chicago in the afternoon,” Lydia smirks but pours a half glass for each of them anyways.

Alec settles down into his chair on the other side of her, not even flinching when she kicks up her heels onto a corner of the desk. They talk shop a little for the first drink, Alec needing a bit more before he loses his filter, something Lydia knows. Somehow they get on the topic of Clary and Izzy on their second drink which of course puts Alec off enough to let Lydia start questioning his relationship. 

He’s never been good at holding his alcohol despite having Jace and Magnus as his boyfriends, so when she asks about how their relationship works, it’s totally not his fault when he starts to spill… Really.

“It’s so hard to explain it you know? Like I know I love both of them, I know they’re it for me, it’s just even crazy to me how different that love is. Take Jace right? The whole time I was growing up I kept telling myself that the love I had for him was brotherly- just ‘cause he was there. But then Magnus came along and I thought,  _ wow, this feels amazing.” _

“Tell me you did not get with Magnus to get over Jace.” Lydia gives a very unimpressed look as she pours her third drink.

Alec shakes his head and finished his glass, “Of course not, I thought being with Magnus would show me what love was supposed to actually feel like. Let me tell you how confused I was when I realized I didn’t fall out of love with Jace just cause I also fell for Magnus.” He wishes he was better with words like Magnus was, wishes he could tell Lydia the difference between his love for each man, how Magnus was like a thousand fireworks all going off at once and Jace was like coming home and drinking a hot cup of cocoa next to a fire during the winter seasons.

It wasn’t just how he loved them that was different either, it was how they loved him back that made his heart realize he couldn’t live without either of them. He tries to tell Lydia how when he had first gotten with Magnus it sometimes felt like he couldn’t breathe, that he felt overwhelmed in the best way possible and for once  _ excited _ for what the next day would bring. Then Jace asking to train with them had set him off on a whole new different type of panic, scared Magnus would be furious that he would have to not only share his soul with someone else but his heart too. 

He remembers his first solo scene with Jace, they both felt the nervous tension from one another, the nerves vibrating throughout the body and pouring into the bond. 

Jace had blindfolded him, tied his wrists together, and had him lay on his tummy. He then oiled up his hands and started moving them across his skin, taking the time to get to know his body for the first time. If he thought hard about it, Alec could still feel the phantom fingers digging into his tense muscles, seemingly pushing him into submission. 

The scene wasn’t much, but Alec felt on Cloud 9 as he finally had his parabatai’s hands on his body. Jace had snuck his fingers between his cheeks, rubbing and coaxing his hole open before slipping a finger, then two, in. He took his time opening Alec up even though both of them knew they wouldn’t be fucking. Alec remembers being desperate, shoving his hips back, and begging for more, but Jace had just smirked and told him to wait. 

His parabatai ended up edging him four more times that night, and by the end of it he was a whimpering puddle of tears and sweat, promising anything in exchange for an orgasm. The promise made Jace chuckle and tuck a pillow under his hips, telling him he came on the pillow or not at all.

So with bright red cheeks, Alec pathetically pushed his hips forward, rocking into the plush pillow and ignoring how humiliating it was to get off in such a way.

Zoning back into the conversation, he hopes she can’t tell how red his cheeks had gotten as he played the memory back.

Lydia snorts but is smiling softly at him, a mix of amusement and adoration, “And here I thought you were just a stick in the mud. I mean it in the nicest way, but I’m really glad you left me at the altar.”

The blush that overcomes him prompts another laugh from Lydia, and Alec starts to attempt to apologize again. “Alec, don’t worry about it, it was for the best. You could’ve done it beforehand I guess, but what’s done is done. If you want to make up for it, tell me all about your boys. Who’s stricter?”

“Jace.” He answered immediately before trying to backpedal, “Not in a bad way of course. He just has a lot more rules and expects them all to be followed. Don’t ever tell him this, but I like them way more than I should, rules make me feel safe, make things black and white and  _ easy.”  _ He shakes his head and holds out his cup to get Lydia to refill it. 

“That’s actually surprising, for someone as reckless as him I was expecting Magnus to have the firm hand.” 

“Oh don’t get me wrong he can be.” He mumbles thinking of the time he had a bad day while the warlock was visiting. 

The version he gives Lydia is very PG, and missing many details, simply telling her he had said something inappropriate and he paid the price for it. The truth of the matter was that the warlock had been standing by him in Ops, and attempted to offer a solution to The Crisis of the Week, and Alec, in his frustrated mood, had told him to leave. Well, the exact words had been, “ _ You’re dismissed.”  _ The second the words left his mouth he regretted it, but Magnus simply walked away, and that night he was taken across the Dom’s lap, apologies falling off his lips as Magnus spanked his balls.

He gives another shrug, not sure how much he should tell her, “But with Jace, It’s mainly a lot of small things, a lot of leftover from Valentine I think. They’re not hard to follow either, more domestic than anything, verbal confirmations, finishing my dinner plate, no weapons past the front door, things like that.” And while those rules are true, he doesn’t tell her how he’s not allowed to close the bond during missions or scenes unless absolutely necessary, and how he’s too count all his strokes during punishment so Jace can gauge where his head is at.

Lydia raises an eyebrow at the admission, “You’re telling me Mr. Bookclub is domesticated?”

“Is that harder to believe than the fact that we also domesticated The High Warlock of Brooklyn?” Alec was far too smug about that answer but he really didn’t give a shit. 

The blonde laughs, spilling some of the scotch around her mouth, “You’ve got a point!” She reaches for tissue on the desk to clean up her mess, “You know I’ve always heard stories and rumors about him from my grandfather, so it’s nice to know that he really is as great as he seems.”

Alec smiles into his glass, feeling proud that everyone knew his boyfriend was actually amazing and he wasn’t just biased (he was). “He’s…wonderful. I don’t even know how to describe it. When we first started dating I could never believe that someone like him would want someone like me, it all seemed too good to be true.”

He pauses.

“You know how I knew?” 

She cocked her head to the side, swallowing the rest of her drink, “That you loved him?”

He fiddles with the buckle of his cuff, “I wasn’t scared.” He doesn’t let her question him before he continues. “With Jace, I think a part of me had been in love with him since the day we met. Loving Jace was  _ safe.  _ It wasn’t like that with Magnus. Before we got together I told him, in so many words, that he wasn’t worth giving up my life over. And at the time that was true, but somewhere along the way the thought of giving up my life for him didn’t scare me.” 

And he knew he had made the right choice in falling when Magnus agreed to take on Jace.

Alec knows he could’ve said no, could’ve told him that it was inappropriate and that it was unfair of the hunter to ask something like that of him. But Magnus had simply kissed his forehead and whispered,  _ “When I promised to love you, heart and soul, I meant it.” _

The blondes’ eyes were kind, a hint of awe flashing through them, “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it, he better treat you right.”

“They both do.” The words leave his mouth before he can catch them but he doesn’t regret it. He would never want to give off the impression that he could love one more than the other. 

“I didn’t mean-”

“No I know, just wanted to clarify. You don’t know half the shit I get about being in a polyamorous relationship. If people aren’t asking me who’d I prefer more, it’s them asking about marriage and kids.” In fact, it was the first thing his parents had mentioned when he and Jace showed up with Magnus for their family dinner. 

He starts to tell her how Robert had thrown around slurs, called them names, and barely tried to hide the thinly veiled insults to Magnus, and while Maryse told him off for those she did agree that he had a point to question their future together. 

“Well, what did you tell them?” Lydia asked leaning forward, interested in the answer herself.

She’s met with a shrug, “The truth. Shadowhunter law would have never approved me marrying my parabatai or a warlock, so it didn’t matter anyway. And as for the kids part, I told her it just meant there would be one more caretaker in the house.”

“So you do want kids?” She raised an eyebrow thinking back to a conversation they had when they were still engaged, that kids weren’t a priority nor a necessity in the future.

“Eventually. I haven’t told them yet but I am looking at options.” He smiles wide, the idea warming his insides.

Her eyes get a little misty before shaking the thought, “Gosh I already feel bad for them.” And before Alec can ask what she meant by that she just laughs, “ _ Imagine their last names!” _

Alec laughs at that but thinks it over in his head.

Lightwood-Herondale-Bane didn’t sound  _ that  _ bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Comment and Kudos if you liked?
> 
> Until next time dears,
> 
> em.


	3. Magnus & Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy to finally post the last chapter of my character study part!! 
> 
> It was so much fun being able to explain my headcanons for this relationship and how each character has a different dynamic. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up with this series and leaving love and feedback, it truly means the world to me.
> 
> I have no clue when the next part is going to be up, and while I have ideas for the drabble series they haven't been written yet. So my apologies if I disappear for a little bit hehe. 
> 
> That being said, enjoy!
> 
> Magnus' mark:
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/190431232@N05/50514074893/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> Meaning: The original pictograph for this letter is a picture of an ox head representing strength and power from the work performed by the animal. This pictograph also represents a chief or other leader.

Oddly enough, Magnus loved it when Alec and Jace had date night. Because a date night for them meant that he got to have the loft to himself, so he could kick up his feet, watch his trash television that both boys refuse to watch, and conjure as many mimosas as he damn well pleased.

He’s just finished the intro to RHONY when there’s a hurried knock at the door. His head falls back against the couch rest and he half thinks about ignoring it, but when his wards tell him that whoever’s on the other side is  _ family,  _ he knows he can’t. With a flourish, he stands up and lets his robe flow behind him as walks over, and the second the door is open his pseudo-son is barging in.

The man in question looked around, pacing a little as he rubbed at his forehead and took a deep breath, “I need advice. Are you busy?”   


“For you? Never. Come, let me get you a drink. The boys are having a date night too so it’s just us.” He says as he makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing some bags of blood he keeps on hand and making the man a drink. 

When he comes back out, he sees the man is sitting a little hunched over in the armchair he normally claims, a frown donning his face, and his eyes focused on the table in front of him. He takes the drink Magnus offers him and takes a big sip, not even cringing.

“Okay, what is going on, I haven’t seen you this rattled since Peru.” Magnus tries to lighten the mood as he takes his own seat back on the couch, flicking off the television. 

Raphael fiddles with the glass he’s been given for a second, eyes not able to meet Magnus’ just quite yet. “I just need some advice.” At Magnus’ confused look he rolls his eyes and continues, “You’re just the only one I can come to about these things.” 

The last time Magnus heard those words was almost 75 years ago when a teenage Raphael had come to him red in the face, asking if he was broken because the idea of sex didn’t appeal to him. He remembers that night clearly, his son freaking out and it taking most of the next few years to come to terms with his asexuality. 

“I’m all ears.” 

The other man takes another little breath before finally relaxing back against the chair, “When you first got with the Lightwood boy, how did you get over, you know your  _ issue?”  _

Raphael didn’t even need to clarify what he was talking about, there was only one thing he could be talking about, and if Magnus were honest it pretty much was a defining moment in his and Alec’s relationship; their first time.

No, not the first time he got to take his boy to bed and have him melt under his fingertips while his legs wrapped around him. No, the first time he had gotten Alec into subspace.

They had already played a few times before, just getting to know one another. But then Alec had admitted to Magnus that he never actually reached subspace. It shouldn’t have been a shock to him, what with Alec’s history and all, but he had made it a promise that the next time he could he would take Alec’s hand and guide him there safely.

And so he did.

He just might have done it a little  _ too _ well.

Magnus knew Alec carried the world on his shoulders, he knew the man felt like he was responsible for everyone and everything, getting him to let go and finally submit would be a challenge, but what actually happened was nothing like he expected. 

Their scene had started off like usual, Magnus had Alec across his lap, landing swats down to warm him up to get him into a nice fuzzy state. He remembers the look Alec had once he sat him upright again, eyes drooped and already getting clouded, his shoulders slumping, and his lips bitten and red. It truly was a sight to behold, and when Alec mumbled that he was still green, Magnus was all too happy to continue. 

So that night Magnus introduced him little by little to every implement he had in his collection, save for the cane of course. If sounds and precum were anything to go by, Alec’s favorites had been the riding crop and leather paddle, two things that gave a quick bite. Magnus thinks that said something about him but he’d rather analyze it later. It was when he was taking him apart with a whip that Alec started to scare him, body limp and just laying there to take it. Magnus had continued to ask his colors and the boy kept insisting that he was green, he was okay. But when he stopped replying, Magnus immediately dropped the whip and hurried to his side.

As he held the boys’ head up, Alec could only mumble slurred words, “Whydja stop?” He had whined, eyes blown and cheeks flushed. Magnus had stopped the scene right away, magicking everything into its place and pulling Alec onto the couch so they were tummy to tummy. It took him far too long for Magnus’ liking for him to come out of that fugue state.

That night would be the first time he ever got scared during a scene and the night he realized Alec might need more than he could give him. 

“While it was… terrifying, we managed to talk it out. It did take a week or so to even bring it up on my part, I had always been confident in my abilities as a dominant you know that, but Alec, was,  _ is _ different. He uses pain differently than any of my previous subs, it took some time but we finally got to where we are now. We have a system, and of course, since Jace is in the picture it’s been a lot easier to gauge him.” He smiles at the memory but furrows his brows, “Why?”

Raphael just hunched back over, rolling the glass between his fingers, “I just- I’m scared I won’t be enough is all. For Simon. He’s new to our world and has only had his marks for a few years, I don’t want to mess things up.”

Magnus’ eyes softened at that, “You will.”

His son snapped his gaze up to him, but before he could speak he continued, “Sweet boy, making mistakes, figuring out how you two work, that’s all a part of relationships. What’s important is that you don’t let those messes spread, when you have a problem, you two work on it together, like teammates.” 

The words fill the silence in the room, and Magnus knows that his boy is taking this to heart. “Even in my age and experience, I still make mistakes. You think everything was sunshine and rainbows when Jace joined us?"

Raphael lets out a little snort and smiles for the first time since he walked through the doors, “I know it wasn’t. He seems like a brat. Does he get punished the most?”

Magnus downs the rest of his martini and conjures another one, “Yes he is and yes he does. When he first came to us it was like a dam breaking, he had never had a dominant before so it seemed he did everything he could to push my buttons and test his boundaries. I swear his maintenance sessions were worse than yours.” He laughs at the scowl his son gives him.

“But as I said, we figured things out, talked things through. I mean look at who his father was, it only makes sense that he acted out. I think I had him over my lap more times in a week than I had Alec in a month. But consistency was the most important factor, giving him a set of expectations and following through with consequences when they’re unmet.”

“Yes Papa, I have heard this speech many times before,” Raphael mumbles and finishes his drink, thanking the other man when it was quickly replaced.

Magnus smiles and puts his drink down, “Is everything okay with Simon?”

“Why wouldn’t they be?” Raphael deflects quickly.

“Because it’s not every day that my son comes to me asking about relationship advice. What’s going on?”

He sees Raphael sigh and shoots his drink back, not even grimacing at the burn. With a snap, he refills it again and waits patiently.

“How did you know you loved them?” He diverts once more and Magnus is patient enough to accept it.

“For Alec, I knew at the wedding. What he did.” He shakes his head fondly at the memory, “It had been a long time since anybody was proud to be mine. Doing it like that just showed me Alec was everything I thought he was, self-righteous, determined, passionate. How could I not fall in love with someone who was trying to change the world for me?”

He fiddles with a loose thread on his robe, “And with Jace, most of it was before we officially got together. He just felt  _ right.  _ I loved taking care of him, training him, and while it took some time, his submission was beautiful too. If I’m being honest though, I really knew I started falling in love with him when I first saw him with Alec.”

He thinks back to the first scene between Jace and Alec, how he had supervised them, and saw how delicate Jace was when handling Alec and trussing him up all at the same time. He remembers sitting by and watching Jace turn Alec’s pretty skin red with the flogger. At first, he was concerned with having an impact scene for their first time, but he quickly realized the parabatai bond ensured another level of safety he would be unable to reach.

Watching Jace handle Alec after was such a beautiful sight too, using oil to remove the wax bits and letting his hands get familiar with his body had been so sensual, even Magnus got a little hard. The soft praises and constant touching was more than enough proof for him that he and Jace would always prioritize Alec, and that maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he let himself love him too.

“Trust me I was not expecting to fall in love with both of them when Alec came to me about Jace. And even then I was scared I’d lose Alec to him. But love is a fickle thing, they share a soul, I guess it was inevitable I fell for the two of them. I can tell you now I don’t regret it one bit, having the two of them by my side makes all those fears I used to have take a back seat like I’m not scared to put my heart on the line. It feels… Free?” He feels his heart fluttering just thinking about it, hoping that his son couldn’t see his blush.

“Is that sort of what you’re looking for here?” He clears his throat.

Raphael softened at seeing his Papa so happy, it had been far too long since he had seen Magnus so secure and confident in his roles. “Yeah, it was. I just had to be sure I guess.” He mumbles putting his last glass down for the night.

Magnus raises an eyebrow at the vagueness, “So are you ready to tell me what’s going on? Why you suddenly want the rundown of how your father got himself mixed up with two Shadowhunters?”

The Hispanic man just stares at his feet for a bit and takes a breath before meeting Magnus’ eyes, “I want to propose to Simon.”

Cat eyes flashed back at him in excitement, a grin spreading wide across his face, “Are you serious? Rapha that’s amazing, I’m so proud of you. Tell me  _ everything _ !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this part!! Thank you again to everyone who kept up with the series and has been motivating me along the way (yes I'm talking to you know who).
> 
> Keep an eye out on the drabble series, but until next time dears!!!
> 
> Em

**Author's Note:**

> I am working on a Malec fic that I'm super excited about, so keep an eye out for that, but I did post a chapter in the drabble series if you'd like to head on over and read that. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, comment and kudos are so so appreciated!
> 
> Much love,
> 
> em


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